Toying with a Beggar
Okay, so...for a little background, Xasmic and I went off to Kaladim to kill guards. We had our usual "fan club" of newbies hanging around, sometimes saying things like "OMG you're raiding the guards" but usually saying things like "can I loot these plz?" Anyway, there were three people in our fan club tonight, two were rather agressive at looting and the third was much more laid back. He and I were talking in tells most of the night and he would buff me with his level 13 agility spell, which I found cute lol.
Now, this guy Dracho was fighting with another dwarf who was about the same level, over who would get to loot a particular corpse. They argued loudly and began getting quite rude with each other. So, to settle the argument I went over and stripped the corpse, destroying the shield and fine steel weapon I looted. Dracho sends me a tell saying "good way to resolve the argument." So I replied, "yea lol...problem solved." And then he asks if he can have what I looted. So I say no. Then he sends me another tell asking if I can loot stuff and hand it to him, so that the other dwarf would get no loot. I told him no again, and he asked why. I told him I loot what I want and leave the rest for the scavengers to fight over. My brother was watching this over my shoulder and sent Dracho a tell, "Stop begging or I will come and kill you." Unfortunately this did not work either, so Jeremy (Stumpy) started to toy with him. At the time I had no idea of this, I only found out after the first few "messages."
First, Stumpy told Dracho to tell me that he liked the color blue. He said that this was the signal for me to give him money. He dutifully followed the instructions, only for me to play dumb. (Actually, I didn't know about Stumpy's meddling at this point, but he told me after I started laughing at the seemingly random comment.)
Next, Stumpy told Dracho that he had to dance with me. He did so, much to Xasmic's amusement.
Stumpy then told Dracho that he had to instruct me to look at his tummy. In the meantime, I filled Xasmic in on Stumpy's plot.
For his next instruction, Stumpy indulged in a little megalomania. I replied that Stumpy was not god at all, but Cazic Thule was. He apparently relayed this information back to Stumpy....
...which prompted Stumpy's next order. He told me to act angry when Dracho told me the news.
At this point, Dracho must have decided that I was out of the loop. I felt really bad for him and I went over to give him all the copper I was about to destroy.
But he was looting a corpse at the time, which made the entire situation even funnier. Judging from the urgency of his reaction, he seems to think he missed out on phat lewt.
Stumpy told him that since the deal was off, that meant that he had to perform all the instructions over again. Dracho did so.
I realized how precious the entire situation was, and so I scrolled back up the log to start taking screen shots. While I was halfway up, Dracho grew impatient with telling me that he liked the color blue, and despairingly asked Stumpy what was wrong. Stumpy said that he knew of a surefire way to get Dracho some cash, and gave him his next instructions.
Stumpy gave me some instructions of my own. Ask Dracho who Lord Rathmod was, and what he had sent Dracho to do.
I was LMAO for real when I read Stumpy's new addition to the story.
Stumpy told me to ask him what would happen if I refused. Dracho answered.
Dracho decides to recap the entire story for us.
More of Stumpy's vivid imagery.
Stumpy told him to be threatening in the next message. I don't know who made this part up, but I'm guessing it was still Stumpy.
Shorttin does not have time for Dracho's nonsense.
But now the tables have turned, for Dracho is asking Shorttin for money, instead of me. I later learned this was also Stumpy's will.
We were about to leave, when Stumpy saw us heading for the exit and asked us to stay while he got Dracho to say one more stupid thing.
I didn't think "your neighbor Innorak" (sic) was all that funny until Stumpy told me that he told Dracho that he was my neighbor IRL, and his name was Innorak IRL.
Stumpy told Dracho that his only hope was to glare at Xasmic repeatedly, in an attempt to intimidate him into giving Dracho money.
Apparently, it did not work.
Outside, I relay Dracho's complaining (to Stumpy) to Xasmic.
A little after this, Dracho told Stumpy "this is bullshit, I've been trying to get them to give me money for an hour now."
funny stories || main page